Jade Phoenix's Thoughts On The World.
Especially Our Own Children
Published on July 9, 2004 By JadePhoenix In Home & Family
I have a beautiful daughter Jade Elaine. She is a handful. At three years old she does things that most children do much later in life...IE: "Look Daddy I dyed My hair!" "Yeah Sweetie I see that, but the nice white carpet is also a nice shade of Auburn too." "The kitty did it!" This is just an example of things parents have to endure when raising children. Better yet..."I was just trying to give the kitty a bath." Don't ask...trust me LOL! I know my daughter is more energetic than most children her age. Not to blow my own horn she is smarter than most children twice her age as well. She has my brains...which in a way I wish she didn't. When she gets 15 will she be graduating High School and getting ready to start college as I did? How will that make me feel?

I worry about these things years in advance. I am sure most parents do. When I was at the hospital after she was born, I walked around with her singing to her. I was the proudest moment of my life. As a parent it is my duty to protect her and shelter her...maybe pass on some wisdom I have gleamed over the years. With your first child it is definitely trial and error. My wife and I have a great marriage, but unfortunately we are not going to have the chance to "get it right the second time" due to problems my wife had.

This makes it all the more important to get it right the first time. There are times that every parent feels as if they have failed. We seek advice from other parents, books, parenting classes and every other source we can possibly find hoping to get the answers. Why do we do this? We are unsure of ourselves, or we feel that our children are too much to handle...especially those of us that have hyperactive overly intelligent children. My advice to other parents...the books DON'T work...LOL ! The best thing we can offer our children is love, support and stability. If a parent ever questions, "Am I doing the right thing?" , question yourself, does it indeed feel like the right decision. Never rush into a decision hastily with children. We live in a time where it is not safe to rush into these things. Peers are bringing guns to school. (I Will probably Blog on this subject soon) There is more sex and violence on television and in the public world than there ever was, with the exception of Ancient Rome. We should never let our guard down.

Babysitting...know who you can trust and who you can't trust. I thought I could trust someone and learned after the fact that I couldn't. (See My first Article titled about me) What do we do when our three year old child opens the fridge and takes everything out? Let's go to the store and buy those child proofing latches for fridge doors.....They didn't work. Let's go buy those door knob covers that keep children out of rooms that they shouldn't be in....don't work....in my case it was hilarious. First my daughter took the covers apart and put them back on, hap hazardly of course....weeks later she realized that she could stick her little finger in the hole in front and open the door with out taking them off. Best solution....never let her out of my sight for a moment. It works....it does take away from free time but what is more important? She is of course.

Maybe this post doesn't seem like it has much of a point. The best point I can make is...treat your children with kindness and understanding. Avoid physical punishments as much as possible they can cause severe disorders in children. If you are the type to spank a child...never do it when you are upset....calm down first. Regardless of how old your children are....talk to them they do understand alot more than we give them credit for...even at three years of age. Communication makes all the difference in the world. No matter how bad it seems...it could be worse. Remember....when we get older it will be our children taking care of us more than likely....treat them better than how you want to be treated when you are older. Why do I say better? We gave them life and brought them into the world...they are our future and who honestly doesn't want a better tomorrow?

Regards To All,

Jade

Comments
on Jul 09, 2004
We are unsure of ourselves, or we feel that our children are too much to handle...especially those of us that have hyperactive overly intelligent children. My advice to other parents...the books DON'T work... !




I have three children who are highly intelligent, and one of those is also hyperactive....so I will second what you say about the books NOT working!! I read the books for a starting point, but then I have managed to mix a lot of different ideas together, and some ideas of my own added in as well. And it's also important, for those of us with more than one child, to remember that what worked for the first one will not always work for the second or third ones.....you have to start over at square one again!



Babysitting...know who you can trust and who you can't trust.



That's a tough one, I know. I can identify with what you said in your other article, in a different sort of way. My middle child was molested, while she was having visitation with her father, by one of her stepsisters. You just never really KNOW where they are going to be safe and where they aren't.



Let's go to the store and buy those child proofing latches for fridge doors.....They didn't work.


I never used anything of that sort with any of my children. I chose the route of presuming they could grasp the meaning of the word "no", and used it....as well as giving them a bottom drawer in the kitchen to keep their toys in, so they had stuff to play with while I was working in the kitchen.



Best solution....never let her out of my sight for a moment. It works....it does take away from free time but what is more important? She is of course


This was my train of thought as well. They are only young once, and I savored every moment of it.....giving ALL of us wonderful memories to carry into the future. Now they are 18, 14 and 11, and I don't regret a minute of the time I've spent with them as they've grown.



Regardless of how old your children are....talk to them they do understand alot more than we give them credit for...even at three years of age.



I also never used "baby talk" with any of mine...and as a result, they were speaking in full sentences by a year old or so...and using 4 syllable words, in the proper context, by the age of 2. ::bragging just a little::





on Jul 09, 2004
Same here...I have always used my three year old as an ear since the day she was born...People who baby talk to children rub me the wrong way...i find it to be rather demeaning to the childrens intelligence...my daughter started talkign at 4 months old was usign complete sentences at 2 as well. They are so precious and wonderful arent they?
on Jul 09, 2004
They are so precious and wonderful arent they?


They are....mine and everyone else's! I have a degree in elementary education, with a certification in kindergarten education, and I can't think of any age group that I'd rather work with....they are still such "sponges" at that age.
on Jul 09, 2004
Arent they though...When i was in college goign for my BSE i couldnt decide fhich endorsement to go for so i begged for elementary with the K endorsement...as well as secondary ed....now look at me teaching college lol.

I love my younger music students that I teach from home. They absorb everything so much faster than the older groups
on Jul 09, 2004
Avoid physical punishments as much as possible they can cause severe disorders in children. If you are the type to spank a child...never do it when you are upset

I have smacked my 6 year old 4 times in his life and all when he was under 4 ( now I think about it 2 of those time were when he bit me really hard and as such was an automatic reaction.....toddler teeth can be needle sharp) My wife has always been against smacking or striking a child in any way. I soon realised two things 1. smacking did not work with him....it never changed his behaviour 2. I was smacking more out of my own frustration than to teach him a lesson.
I believe smacking can work as a discipline for some children (I am sure I could use it to alter my youngest childs behaviour when it is bad) but for those children I am 100% sure that other forms of discipline work equally well or better than physical punishment without the possibility of emotional problems later in life.