Life can be so hectic at times. Every Married Couple Has Their Problems. My Marriage isn't any different. We Have had our problems. I made promises to my wife that I would change my problems and she made promises that she would change hers. We made these promises way back in March 2004. I Have upheld my promise and got rid of everything about me that she saw as a problem. Yet....She has done nothing to up hold her end. Since we were first married I have always had the issue of her beign lazy around the house doing absolutely nothing. The only way she will help around the house is if there is this huge drawn out scene...she is worse than most gay men I Swear. She can't control her anger. She has been rather mean to our daughter...not physically but verbally a witch with a Capital "B". Tonight my 4 year old daughter and I went out to Dinner at a local chinese restaurant. The waiter was so nice it was unbelieveable. My daughter did something she has never done before. She gave him a huge hug. Minutes before that I had asked her a few questions. I swear I heard my wife say something rude that I won't repeat here to my daughter earlier. I asked my daughter if Mommy had said these things my daughter said yes.
When she hugged that waiter and after her confirming that what I hear was true...it made me realize how much my babygirl just wants a kind word from her Mommy. I Left the restaurant in tears. I love my wife. But It is as if Crystal Treats me and Damon like we are her houseboys or slaves. I Have always had this feeling. I beg for help but she acts like the man that comes home from work and plops down in front of the television does nothing and watches Monday Night Football. I go on strike once in a while and let the dishes pile so high or let her run out of clothes until I can't take it anymore. She does nothing to wash clothes or dishes. Even after all of that. She has resorted to lying which I thought she got over with when she was a teenager. She never listens to anyone. If she hears someone talking and repeats what was said to me or Damon or someone else...it all comes back rewritten with things that were never said at all.
I don't know what I can do. After five years of begging and pleading and crying down on my knees please help me around here I am not the only parent or spouse in this house. I can't do it all by myself. I get nothing. I refuse to sleep in the same room as her because she just throws things on the floor and leaves them or allows our daughter to dig everything out of the closets etc...and doesnt reprimand her. Last night she threw one of the kitchen chairs at the entertainment center wreckign my playstation...she threw a coffe mug across the room and it shattered. All that was asked of her by both Damon and myself was...."Crystal Hunny would you mind please helping us get some of this housework done." She flew off the handle. She has been in therapy for over a year and the more therapy she gets the worst she gets.
She comes into the room and I am afraid of her. Early in our marriage when she wouldnt pick up our daughters dirty diapers and let them pile up once I snapped for a while and backhanded her everytime she created a mess or was too lazy to do anything. I went to therapy got that anger out of me and became the passive person I was before I met this woman. But she hasnt changed her temper is as bad as it was when she was a teenager and then it was violently explosive. My therapist and hers said even when I would get mad enough to slap her or something it was actually justified and I was fed up with being treated like a slave or dog. But I look back on it and think what I should have done is listened to her Father and my parents and had her commited before My anger got that bad. I look back at my anger and couldnt believe it was me cuz i was never ever like that. And i still argue with the therapist that It is not justified.
What do I do? I have gotten so fed up in the past I called social services on my wife and asked to have my daughter removed from our home until it was cleaned. The social worker told me do not help Crystal she will never learn. I got so tired after a few days of her not cleaning I "helped" her clean and told social services the house was clean and bring our daughter back home. They asked if I helped her and I lied and said no. After 5 years of marriage and no change from Crystal what so ever....What amd I supposed to do. I love her, I don't want to divorce her. Am I supposed to just sit back and do everything myself like I have been and just stop asking for help and let Crystal be as lazy and she wants to be without saying a word? Or do I keep doing what I am doing?
Crystal is a hardworker at her workplace she gets rave reviews from her bosses and co workers but she wont do anything at all at home regardless of what type of Employment she has. I am at my wits end....usually it is women that complain about their men being this way...in my case it is the man complaining about the woman being that way.
Do Damon and I Just Bite Our Lips, Say Nothing And Take Care Of The House ourselves? Even when it was just her and I it was the same thing as now. Or Do I stop taking care of the home all together? Which I can't Allow my daughter to live like that. I feel lost and confused. I need some answers and I have dug so far down into the recesses of my soul to find them and all I draw is blanks. I am burned out completely.
Any Suggestions? Feedback?
A Crying, Desperate And Feeling Unloved Pseudo-Clone Of He That Used To Be Jade.